Tuesday, September 2, 2008

18 going on 16.....?

So my 18th birthday was this past Saturday.
I spent the day with Hernan and his fam. It was fun.
But the whole day i felt like i hadnt gotten older at all. In fact, i felt like i was still 16.
Since i kinda felt the same about my 17th birthday too.
Maybe this will change with time, but i dont know. Its really annoying.

So my mom came home today from her trip up to Oregon, to check on our house up there. (my parents bought a house up there).
All she did when she got home was complained about all the things that '' I didnt do correctly" house work wise. I'm sorry if i had work, and had to cook dinner and everything for my dad, and do some school work. (i'm now a Vet Tech student at Penn Foster College. Online school)
As soon as she got home, i nearly instantly became stressed out, and doubting myself about everything.
So there for i have discovered/decided that my mom is what stresses me out the most because when she was gone, i was perfectly fine, feeling good about life, and my dad and i were actually getting along.
This is the main reason why i want to move out of this house so much. So i can actually have a chance at living my life and feeling good/confident about it.
Also, i want to really start my adult life, but living at my parents house, thats rather difficult to do when they still treat me like i'm a highschool freshman. Also, its tough to feel like an adult when my room has Johnny depp posters in it. and a pirate flag on the ceiling.
I really want to 'remodel' my room, but i have no money to do so. Plus it would be pointless if i'm going to HOPEFULLY move out in 6+ months.
I dont know what to do anymore.
I want to move out but cant.
I want to do alot of things, but cant for one reason or another.
This always seems to be the case.
Its like i'm more mature than i am, but i cant do anything about it because i am broke.
I hate many things about this life.
But at least i love at least a few things in my life
and those few things are what keep me going.